Tim Draper, the best friend a failing dentist never had

The morning was already too hot.  I was on my way into work.  It was July in the mid 1990′s.  I despised my heavy winter coat laying on the seat next to me.  I realized I had slid to the lowest rung that a computer programmer could fear.  I had been assigned for the past several months to work on IBM mainframe assembly code on a project that had shipped a decade earlier.  I had to use the terminal in the 58 degree temperature controlled windowless mainframe room to do my programming.  The company valued the project so little that they didn’t even provide terminal emulation software that would allow me to debug the code from a cubicle.  I had to take breaks to warm my hands and get the feeling back in them.

I was finding ever more difficult to show up in the morning.  I had destroyed my career and future.  No one would want to hire me after working on such an assignment…  and so went my thoughts.  On one of my ever increasing breaks from the cold room, Tim Draper pulled me aside.

Tim was one of my co-workers.  I didn’t know him well, but as it turned out, he was one of the best friends I have ever had.  Tim, on that fateful day, pulled me into his room.  He told me that he was seeing in me some of the things that he was learning to see in himself, with the help of a counselor.  He told me that he suffered from clinical depression, and he thought I might be too.  Boy… was he right!  Tim told me about some books that his counselor was having him read.  I felt like a drowning man being tossed a life preserver… and Tim’s actions did save my life.  My thoughts had begun the slippery slide into self destruction.

I almost ran out the door to go to a book store to buy the books he suggested.  And so began my journey into CBT (cognitive behavior therapy), neural-plasticity, and positive psychology.  I learned that there were deeper levels of depression that I could still sink into… but that knowledge gave me hope.  I immersed myself in CBT and used those tools to pull myself to a higher plane… and the timing could not have been better.

Three weeks after Tim pulled me aside, I was asked to visit with my supervisor.  I was being laid-off (and would never see Tim Draper again).  The company outsourced my work to India.  Instead of being despondent, I was filled with anticipation for the future.  I was excited to see what would come.  I had no idea how I would make it… but I knew that with my new CBT tool-set I could face the world and be productive.

I share this information in order to give hope to those that may be reading this that may not fill fulfilled, may be slipping into depression, may not feel happy.  It is said that dentists are one of the most depressed professionals… I wonder about that… even more than attorneys? hmmm… that’s got to be bad.

A book I am reading right now talks about the level of stress and depression that Harvard students feel.  It is seemingly incongruous.  These folks have been at the top of their class from the time they were in preschool.  They have it all… the opportunities that await them are extraordinary, and yet they are some of the most depressed people in America.  They have bought into the idea that success brings happiness.  I have learned that success does not bring happiness, but that happiness brings success.  Happy people are more successful than those who are depressed or even those that are merely even-keeled.

If you are a dentist that fits into the state of mind that I was in, there is hope.  Think of me as your personal Tim Draper.  Read Learned Optimism as a starter.  It’s not a new book anymore, so it will be cheap and easy to find on Amazon. Then read The Happiness Advantage (this one’s much newer).  Both these books use the tools of CBT without digging into the gory details the the first book I read did.  Seligman had just started creating the field of Positive Psychology back then.  If you find these tools helpful to you, thank Tim Draper, and then become Tim Draper.